Appearances & Reflections
by samuraiheart
Summary: When Seiji goes out with Nasty, Ryo must deal with his hidden feelings for the swordsman. Shounen-ai.
1. Appearances

_ Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They are the property of their respective owners. PLEASE do not post my fan fics without my permission! **This story contains shounen-ai. In other words, there is a relationship between two human beings of the male variety. If this offends you, please turn back now. **_

**Appearances**

_by samuraiheart_

"Dinner's ready!" Shin called upstairs. 

Within a few minutes, Shu, Ryo, and Touma were gathered at the table with Shin. 

"Where are Seiji and Nasty?" Shu asked. 

"They went out again." Ryo said flatly. It was their fifth date so far and everything seemed to be going great – at least for them. Why did Ryo feel so awful? "I thought I was over him. I thought I gave up on him a long time ago," he thought to himself. 

They seem so great together. I'm so glad they found each other." Touma said between mouthfuls of rice. 

"Me too." Ryo muttered. 

"Gee, you're in a good mood tonight. What's wrong?" Touma turned to face Ryo and looked at him expectantly. It wasn't like Ryo to be sarcastic like this. 

"Oh nothing… just tired I guess." Ryo shook his head and put a hand on his temple. The gesture seemed to satisfy the blue-haired warrior and he continued the previous topic of conversation. Ryo sighed. Had he really been so obvious? He'd have to work on that. 

"They're really getting serious aren't they?" Shin added. 

"Yeah. I can't believe it, but I think Seiji's in love." Touma chuckled and shook his head. 

"What makes you say that?" Ryo said weakly. He hoped the question had not sounded as pleading as it felt. Please don't let it be true. 

"Oh come on, Ryo, haven't you noticed?" Shu found it hard to believe that anyone could have missed the signs. "Last night, when he came in, he was humming!" 

Shin smiled and tried to imitate the sound of Seiji's exuberance. 

Shu laughed and patted Shin on the back, "That's it – that's him exactly! Ha, ha, ha, ha!" 

Ryo glared at his plate and slowly pushed his food around from one side to the other. When everyone else had finished, he took the plates from the table. Shin, Shu and Touma headed off to watch television and Ryo stayed behind to clean up. It was his turn and welcomed the silence of the empty kitchen. He tried desperately to push back the thoughts that invaded his mind. Unspoken secrets and hidden desires forced their way to the surface and Ryo found himself fighting to hold back the emotions that wanted to come out. 

Later that night, he sat on the edge of his bed and stared out his window. The room was dark and lonely – he could think better that way – at least that's what he kept telling himself. In truth the dark enveloped him and empathized with the loneliness he felt deep inside. His thoughts kept drifting back to the blond swordsman and how much he wanted to hear Seiji say his name. The stars were beautiful tonight. The sky was so dark blue in some places that it almost matched the deep purple of Seiji's eyes. 

Ryo shook his head and closed his eyes. He had to think of something else. Sleep would not come and dawn was hours away. His eyes glistened with tears that would not fall. Small droplets of salty sadness gathered on his long dark lashes, but he wiped them away quickly. The dampness that came away on his hands served as a painful reminder of what he was trying so hard to forget. 

Just as he was about to give up the fight and succumb to spiraling sadness, he heard a soft knock at the door. He opened it cautiously and was surprised to see Seiji standing there in his pumpkin-printed pajamas. His eyes sparkled in the moonlight and his delicate blond hair seemed slightly ruffled. "I'm sorry to bother you Ryo. I hope I didn't wake you. I couldn't sleep and there's something I wanted to ask you." 

"It's okay, Seiji. I don't mind. Is something wrong?" Ryo stood in the shadows and hoped Seiji couldn't see the remnants of his tears. 

It was times like this that Ryo hated his imagination. He should have dismissed his fantasies and concerned himself with the present reality, but a part of him dared to hope that Seiji would finally reveal that he loved Ryo as much as Ryo loved him. He knew he was setting himself up for tremendous heartbreak and let down, but his heart wouldn't listen. Why else would Seiji come here so late at night? He waited in with anticipation for Seiji's answer. 

"Ryo… um… you see…" 

"Go ahead, Seiji." 

"Nasty wants me to take her dancing and I don't know how. Could you help?" 

Ryo stepped back a little in defeat. He should have seen it coming. His smile disappeared and the sparkle in his eyes quickly faded. 

"Why me?" he asked to no one in particular, but Seiji mistook it as a response and tried to answer. 

"Ryo, I've seen you dance. You're good and I don't want anyone else to know. Can I count on you to keep a secret?" 

Ryo stood there and stared in disbelief. "If only Seiji knew how many secrets I keep." Ryo's thought echoed in his mind. 

"Of course." 

"Ryo, are you okay? You look pale." 

"I'm fine." He said quickly, but it didn't sound very convincing. What was the point? He suddenly felt such a deep despair that it was hard to concentrate on keeping up appearances. 

Seiji took his hand and Ryo leaned heavily on him as Seiji helped him to bed. "I think you should get some rest, Ryo. I'll talk to you more about this in the morning. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight." Ryo whispered and pulled the covers close to him as Seiji left the room. Ryo wasn't sure what to think. His heart seemed determined not to let this go. Despite all of the pain the situation had caused him, a part of Ryo was overjoyed at the prospect of spending even one extra minute with Seiji. Being close to something you can never have is not much comfort, he reminded himself. Sometimes he wished they weren't friends at all because friendship gave a false sense of companionship. It was only a few rungs down from what Ryo hoped for, but it was still a long reach between the two. 

Ryo woke up the next morning just as the sun was beginning to peak out from behind the horizon. It was early, but Ryo was hungry – probably because he hadn't eaten any of his dinner the night before. He stumbled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen to search for food. 

"Good morning, Ryo. Are you feeling any better?" Seiji looked up at Ryo from the kitchen table. 

Ryo wanted to say, "No. I keep my love for you locked deep inside my heart and sometimes it hurts so much because I yearn to tell you how I feel. I ache to touch your smooth skin or press my lips to yours. I would die to hear you say just three words to me and I die every time I hear you say them to someone else.", but instead he shrugged, grabbed a bowl and a box of cereal and sat across from Seiji at the table. 

Seiji looked at him puzzled and then laughed softly. "Ryo, I will never understand you. I think that's what I like most about you." Ryo took in a sharp breath and turned away. The friendly compliment stung his soul and he tried not to show Seiji how much it hurt. 

After an awkward silence, Ryo smiled a little too brightly and said, "I'm sorry, Seiji. I've been kinda distracted lately. Are you still looking for someone to teach you to dance?" 

"Sure. Are you willing?" 

"Of course." He said aloud, but he couldn't help thinking, "I'd do anything for you – anything to be close to you – even if it kills me." 

"It's early and no one will be up for a while. Do you want to start now?" 

Ryo put his empty bowl in the sink and smiled. "Sure let's go to my room." 

Sage stood in front of Ryo awkwardly, "Now where do I…?" 

Ryo smiled and took Sage's hand in his own. "The first thing you have to do is relax and have fun." His heart was beating so fats and Sage was so close to him. He hoped Seiji couldn't tell. "You should put one hand on my waist and the other on my shoulder and then just move with the... oh… there should be music." 

Ryo blushed and let go of Seiji's hand suddenly. Maybe this was hopeless. He looked down at the carpet and shook his head. "Seiji, I don't know if I should… if I'm the one…" Ryo bit his lip and looked up at Seiji. 

Seiji smiled and his eyes sparkled. "You're doing fine Ryo. Keep going." 

Ryo beamed. "Okay, well I guess I should find some music." He sifted through some CDs on his desk, chose one of his favorites and pressed play on the CD player. Ryo's hands shook slightly and the room was filled with beautiful piano music as he turned back to Seiji. It was one of Ryo's favorite songs. He used to listen to it and wish… for this. 

A few days later, Seiji was ready. 

"Thanks Ryo. I know Nasty will really appreciate this." 

Oh yeah, this was all for Nasty. Such a crushing blow to a fragile heart. Ryo had to fight to hold back tears and words he wished he could say. They had spent so much time together and they had been so close. It was so easy to pretend, but now it was over and reality came flooding back. It was time to once again put on the façade of the caring friend and nothing more. It was a friendship Ryo treasured deeply. It was part of the reason he never said what he was really feeling. He wanted Seiji to be happy more than anything else and he didn't want to lose him as a friend. "I think you'll be fine tonight, Seiji. You've really learned a lot." 

"I had a great teacher. Thanks again. It means a lot to me." Seiji put a hand on Ryo's shoulder. "Ryo, is there something wrong?" 

"What do you mean?" Ryo's eyes widened. What had he said or done to make Seiji worry? He had to think of something to reassure him. He never meant to let it show. 

"Oh, it's probably nothing, but you seem so sad and distant lately. Did something happen?" 

"No, I'm fine… really, but thanks." Ryo smiled in an effort to appear alright. His heart ached and his soul trembled, but he held his head high and met Seiji's eyes evenly. 

Sage hugged his friend gently and ruffled his hair playfully. "Okay, I'll let you off the hook for now, but if you ever need anything, just let me know." 

"I need you." Ryo thought silently. 

"I've gotta go now, Ryo. Nasty's waiting." 

"Okay, have a good time." Ryo stood there and watched as the couple drove off. "I'll wait forever." He whispered and turned to go back up to his room. Before he got very far, Shin stopped him. 

"Hey Ryo. It's almost dinnertime. Do you want to come sit down?" 

"No thanks Shin. I'm really not hungry." He leaned on the banister and tried his best to convince the world that it was true and failed miserably. 

"Are you alright? You don't look so good." 

"I'll be okay. I just need…" Ryo broke off suddenly. He could never have what he really needed. "I'm just going to go lie down for a while." 

Shin put his hand on Ryo's shoulder and searched his face for a clue to what was bothering him. "Alright." He said uncertainly, "but let me know if you need anything. Promise?" This wasn't like Ryo. He was always so cheerful. What had happened? 

"Okay" Ryo whispered and climbed the stairs slowly. He closed the door softly behind him not wanting to disturb the universe any further and turned on some music. He sat on the edge of his bed and stared off into the distance. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he sobbed quietly as he thought about Seiji. He knew he was being selfish. Ryo couldn't expect Seiji to understand or even care about what he wanted or needed so desperately. It could never work. Maybe someday… no… hope was his downfall. If only he could convince himself that it was impossible maybe he could get through life without so much misery, but he just couldn't let go. He could never imagine giving up. In some ways, that would hurt even more. Those eyes, that hair, that voice… that touch, that connection, that soul. 

Ryo was lost in the dark crevices of his loneliness when Shin knocked on his door. He sat huddled at the foot of his bed shaking with each tender sob. He didn't hear Shin come in and he didn't notice him until he felt a soft touch on his shoulder. He looked up suddenly to see Shin's sparkling eyes gazing at his own with a look of concern. 

"Ryo, what's wrong?" 

"It doesn't matter." 

"Of course it does Ryo. No one wants you to be upset. Is there anything I can do to help?" 

"No." Ryo closed his eyes and searched for the part of him that could convince Shin that everything was alright. He was so tired of playing the game. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There was nothing left. He couldn't pretend anymore. The tears kept coming. 

Shin leaned towards Ryo and brushed a tear-soaked lock of black hair from Ryo's pale face. Ryo shivered at the closeness of the gesture. "I understand Ryo and I know how you feel." 

Ryo's heart beat faster and he looked up at his friend in confusion. "What do you mean?" 

Shin sat back up straight and sighed. "We all love her a little, Ryo, but she's happy with Seiji. No matter how we feel, we have to let her be happy. She's done so much for us." His voice trembled slightly. Under different circumstances Ryo would have been touched by his friend's honesty and would have tried to comfort him, but now it just seemed like some kind of cruel joke. 

"Nasty?" Ryo choked. "It's not like that Shin. You don't understand." 

"There's no reason to hide it. Now why don't you come downstairs and join us for dessert." 

"No thanks, I can't." 

"Okay, but seriously Ryo, it will be okay. You will find someone someday." 

After Shin left, Ryo sank back on his bed and laughed bitterly. At least his secret was safe, but it was such a hard thing to hold inside. He wasn't sure how much longer he could live on the delicate edge between normalcy and despair. Tonight, for at least one more night, he would face reality and try to move on. He stood up slowly and wiped his eyes. He glanced in the mirror on the way to the stairs. He was so tired… so tired of holding on. If only he could let go. His love weighed heavy on his heart and an overwhelming sadness fought to take over. He felt so alone and out of place as he smiled through the anguish and headed down to join the others. He took a deep breath and took one step at a time. 

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	2. Reflections: A Sequel

samuraiheart's Reflections  ** This story contains shounen-ai. In other words, there is a relationship between two human beings of the male variety. If this offends you, please turn back now. ** _Author's note: I got a lot of good response from the first part when I posted it on my website, but everyone wanted me to write a sequel. I didn't think I could do it because I had no intentions of continuing the story when I wrote it, but I tried it anyways. I tried a couple of different story lines, but I could never seem to get it right. Finally, with a lot of inspiration and help from Sailor Aquablade, I did it. I hope you like it. _

**Reflections**

_ by samuraiheart with lots of help from Sailor Aquablade. Thank you so much! I really appreciate the inspiration._

_Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me and I am not making any money off of this so please don't sue me. If anyone wants to post this fic somewhere please ask me first. Thanks and I hope you enjoy this story._

Seiji and Nasty stood facing each other at the foot of the stairs. They had spent the evening dancing and eating at a fine restaurant.

"I really had a good time tonight Seiji. Thanks again." Nasty looked into Seiji's violet eyes and frowned. She tried to look exasperated like she knew she should be, but failed as a look of concern took over. She was his friend after all and she couldn't ignore the fact that he seemed worried about something. She took one of Seiji's hands in her own.

"Are you okay Seiji? You've been distracted all night." 

In the dark, shadows fell across Seiji, but she saw him shrug his shoulders a little. Patches of moonlight shone on the two of them as Seiji struggled to find the words to answer her. He had so many things on his mind. 

"Oh…" had he really been that obvious? He was going out with Nasty so why couldn't he stop thinking about Ryo? "I just… I don't know."

Nasty tilted her head and smiled slightly "Its okay Seiji… you don't have to explain now." Seiji closed his eyes briefly and seemed to relax a little as he looked at Nasty and saw nothing but understanding. Nasty put her arm gently around Seiji's waist and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

"Goodnight." She said softly while brushing a strand of blond hair from his eyes and watching it quickly fall back to its original spot.

"Goodnight." Seiji turned and headed up the stairs slowly. Near the top he heard Nasty call his name. "Seiji!" He turned around to see Nasty looking at him sincerely. "If you ever need anything, or just want to talk, I'm here no matter what it is." Seiji's heart sank despite the kind offer. How could he tell his girlfriend about this? On the other hand, she deserved to know, but how could he tell Nasty that he was not in love with her, but instead longed for his best friend? 

"Thanks." He said as he headed to his room.

***********************************************************************

Later that night, Seiji lay in bed staring at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the images that haunted him. Hints of dark circles under Ryo's sapphire eyes and a sadness hidden deep within them. Seiji had so many regrets – so many things he wished he'd said, but his courage had left him when he saw the expectant look in Ryo's eyes. Seiji remembered it all so clearly…

Nasty was the last person on his mind as he stood in front of Ryo's door that night. Seiji wanted to tell Ryo how he really felt, but how do you tell someone that you love them? Its not as simple as it sounds. How do you tell one of your best friends that they mean so much more to you? Seiji knew there was a possibility that Ryo loved him too. Despite all attempts to conceal it, Seiji saw something in Ryo's eyes that made him wonder. It was there in the form of a smile that crossed his lips when Seiji said his name and in the glimmer of sadness that seemed to have taken over for the last couple of days, but had always been there deep inside. 

"If its true, " Seiji thought to himself, "now I've made it worse because of what I didn't say." 

Despite the regrets, Seiji smiled slightly in the dark. He was sorry for everything that had happened, but it pleased him a little to know that he could erase the sadness in Ryo's eyes with just a few simple words. He had never had so much power over someone else's emotions and it made him love Ryo even more. It was not a one-sided sentiment either. The chance to hold Ryo in his arms was almost more than his heart could take. Seiji wanted him so much and every moment he spent with Ryo brought him joy. That night, he had suggested dancing lessons as a last minute attempt to spend some time with Ryo. He had planned to tell Ryo his feelings very soon – as soon as he got up the courage, but it was so much harder than he thought and some rational side of him kept talking about how much Nasty would thank Ryo for this. What had Seiji been thinking! He saw the hurt in Ryo's eyes clearly when he reminded him that this was for Nasty.

"I'm so sorry Ryo." Seiji whispered in the dark of his room. "I know you need to hear the truth but I'm not sure I'm ready. I still have so many doubts and questions and so many things to worry about. Nasty and the other guys and…oh Ryo… you're the most beautiful person I've ever met and I'd do anything to hold you in my arms or just be near you. That's why I did what I did. I never meant to hurt you. It must have been awful for you to see Nasty and me together afterwards." 

Those few days had been some of the best of his life. As he held Ryo close to him and moved with the music it was easy to imagine that it was all real – that the hardest part was over and they could be happy together now, but reality had come crashing back and that one step was still incomplete. 

Seiji sat up in bed and leaned back against the wall as the memories washed over him. Ryo's dark black hair near his face and close enough to touch. A gentle hand on his shoulder and the feel of Ryo breathing so close to him. He shook his head and closed his eyes as the images faded and a new fear spread through his heart. Doubts came rushing to the surface and briefly invaded his thoughts before he came to a decision.

"Maybe I'm just seeing things that aren't really there… but it all makes so much sense and I want it so much. It has to be true. And soon I'm going to find out." 

He bit his lip in anticipation and laid his head on his pillow. He closed his eyes and searched for sleep that would not come until several hours later and even then it was restless. He woke up tired and shielding his eyes from the sun that was shining in through his window. How late was it? He glanced at his alarm clock and saw that it was almost lunchtime. He got dressed quickly and headed down stairs. 

*********************************************************************** 

Seiji could smell the pleasant aroma of something cooking on the stove as he strolled into the kitchen. He was surprised to see Ryo stirring a large pot of soup and chopping vegetables.

"Good morning Ryo. Why are you cooking? Where's Shin?"

Ryo paused before turning to answer. He took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself to face Seiji. Lately, he hadn't been able to get the swordsman out of his thoughts. He was constantly daydreaming about a love that they could never have and then realizing how hopeless the whole situation was and having to bite back tears. At the moment he was teetering on the edge between the two and he hoped it didn't show on his face as he turned towards Seiji. 

"Ummm…. Good _AFTERNOON_…. It's my turn to cook. Why, don't you think I can do it?" He was aiming for a playful carefree tone, but the bitterness in his voice made it sound angrier than he meant it to. 

Seiji's eyes narrowed briefly, but then he smiled. A gorgeous smile that made Ryo's heart leap in his chest. He had to smile too, an aching smile that wished for so much from someone so near. Seiji patted Ryo lightly on the back as he turned to leave the kitchen. "Smells good. I'm looking forward to it." 

Ryo brightened at the compliment and Seiji's heart soared.

He went to the living room and found Shin and Touma sitting on the couch whispering quietly. They turned as he entered. 

"Hey, Seiji. You slept late this morning, is everything okay?" Touma said. 

"Late night with Nasty?" Shu teased. 

"NO. Everything's fine." Seiji said as he tried to hide a yawn, "What are you all discussing that's so secret?"

Shu just smirked. 

"Oh its not a secret, we just don't want Ryo to hear. Have you noticed anything different about him lately?" Shin said.

"No. What do you mean?" Seiji answered uncertainly.

"Well, it's probably nothing, but he seems upset about something and we're worried about him." Touma said matter-of-factly.

"He didn't even argue when I told him it was his turn to make lunch. I mean… he always does it, if it's his turn, but usually we kid each other a little first. He just seems so distant and alone. I wonder if there's anything we can do to help." Shin seemed truly concerned as he looked up at his friends. 

"Maybe he needs a girlfriend." Shu said grinning in the corner.

Touma rolled his eyes, "That's your answer to everything!"

"Well it's certainly working for Seiji, right! – nudge" Seiji blushed a little and glared at Shu as the others laughed. 

Ryo stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room and stared at Seiji, Shu, Shin and Touma. They were all standing around the couch talking softly about something and he knew he had heard his name. They laughed at something and Ryo felt it deep within his heart. They were laughing at him and he knew it.

"I'm pathetic so why shouldn't they laugh…but… I thought they were my friends." 

Ryo leaned back on the door and let his black bangs cover his eyes. The door hit the wall with a small thud and the other four troopers turned to see Ryo. He looked at them accusingly and then returned to the kitchen. Seiji stared after him with concern as the group filed into the kitchen for lunch. The silence was awkward as they ate and Nasty who had just come down was very confused. She looked at Seiji for a clue, but he only shrugged. It wasn't anything he could explain with a look although he tried to glance at Ryo to show her it had to do with him. Unfortunately, Ryo looked up from his soup and saw Seiji's gesture. Seiji caught a glimpse of sullen blue eyes before Ryo stood up.

"How can you possibly understand?" he said shakily, staring at his friends. 

He dumped his soup in the sink and stormed out the back door. The others sat silently for a few moments after that – Seiji had scooted his chair out and was looking at the door, but hadn't taken the action everyone expected.

"What happened?" Nasty asked innocently. 

"I don't know." Shin said softly. 

The others all nodded in agreement. No one was exactly sure what was going on. Even Seiji was a little confused. Was Ryo mad at him? Had he heard the conversation before? Maybe this is all a mistake? He needed to talk to someone.

***********************************************************************

"Hey Nasty, maybe I'll take you up on that offer," Seiji said timidly.

"And what offer would that be?" 

Seiji blushed. 

"You know I'm only kidding," Nasty laughed, "so what do you want to talk about?" 

"Well…" Seiji didn't know where to begin. He sat on the edge of her bed and stared at the blank wall in front of him. Nasty sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Is this about Ryo?"

Seiji took in a sharp breath. He could deny it, but that was why he was here. 

"Yeah… how did you know?" 

Nasty smirked. "I'm not as stupid as you think," she thought to herself. 

"Just a guess." She said aloud and smiled. "What is it?"

"I don't know what to do." 

"What do you mean?"

Seiji struggled as he wondered what he was getting himself into. 

"I'm... I'm sorry Nasty…but I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Nasty sat back a little in surprise. She hadn't seen that one coming, well maybe she had. She tried to hide the tremble in her voice as she asked, "What happened Seiji… I thought…?" 

Seiji couldn't bring himself to look in her eyes as he explained all that had been worrying him. 

"I'm really sorry, but… I don't want to keep you from who you should really be with anymore."

Nasty smiled slightly. He seemed so sure she'd find someone else – maybe he'd seen the way she looked at Shin.

"Is there someone else?" 

Seiji finally got the courage to look up. He saw Nasty's gentle face looking at him expectantly and this time he wasn't afraid.

"Yes…. I… I love Ryo." He said it so softly that she wasn't even sure she heard him right. Nasty was surprised, but it suddenly all seemed so perfect. She smiled and she was truly happy. She knew how hard this must be for Seiji. She took his hands in her own and realized that they were shaking. She hugged him closely and kissed him for the last time.

"Thanks for telling me Seiji. Its okay, I've always known your heart wasn't mine, I just never knew it belonged to someone else." 

Nasty's voice cracked a little on those last words, but she smiled sincerely. They sat in silence for a while before her next question. 

"Does he know?" 

"No." 

"Are you going to tell him?" 

"Do you think I should?" 

"Yes." She said firmly. She wanted to shake him. Was he that dense? Dense wasn't a word she would normally use to describe Seiji, but didn't he realize as she did now that Ryo loved him too?

*********************************************************************** 

Seiji stood outside of Ryo's door again. This time he was going to say it. No matter what. Ryo needed to know. He hoped it wouldn't ruin their friendship. He wished it would work out to be more than he could ever hope for, but he was getting ahead of himself. First he had to tell him. 

"Just a few simple words…" he reminded himself, "but they could change my world, and his." 

Seiji approached the door cautiously and knocked. He waited patiently and then knocked again. Maybe now was not the right time a voice in the back of his head warned, but Seiji grabbed the knob and opened the door in one swift motion, not allowing his subconscious to interfere. He was greeted by a cold, dark room and silence. Ryo wasn't there. Where could he be? His mind leapt back to lunchtime when Ryo had run out. Surely he was back by now. He couldn't stay upset that long, could he? A dark fear spread over Seiji and he was suddenly very cold. He ran downstairs and into the kitchen. 

"Have you seen Ryo?" He asked Touma urgently. 

Touma took a moment to take it all in. Why was Seiji so upset and what could be so important? 

"I don't know Seiji. He's not in his room?" 

"No… have you seen him since lunch?" 

Touma thought for a moment. 

"No I guess not. You don't think he's still out there do you?" 

He gestured to the back door. 

"I hope not, but I don't know Touma. I'm going to go look for him."

*********************************************************************** 

(Earlier – right after lunch)

After leaving the kitchen, Ryo ran as fast as he could. He had to get away from it all. He had to get away from that house, his friends and most of all the pain. He was lost in thought as he rushed through the woods desperately searching for something that he couldn't find. Doubts tugged at his thoughts and urged him to go back as he sped deeper and deeper into the forest. He paused when he reached the lake. He couldn't outrun his problems and he knew it. With a sigh, he sat down under a tree and stared up at the sky. It was starting to get dark and the last rays of sunlight were shimmering on the water before him. Ryo closed his eyes and rested his head on the trunk of the tree. He was so tired. He ran his fingers through his dark hair and opened his eyes. He blinked as the image swam before him. Ryo shook his head slightly to erase the dizziness and frowned. Maybe he should get home. The bright light of the full moon shone all around him as he realized that none of the scenery looked familiar. How long had he been running? Scared and confused, he folded in on himself and began to cry. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he fought to stop them. The world seemed miles away as he struggled to regain control. Then, Ryo heard the soft rustle of dry leaves behind him. Yielding to his warrior instincts, he jumped up quickly and turned to defend himself. The sudden movement made the world spin even more and he staggered a little before leaning on the tree for support. Finally giving up, he sank back onto the ground and gave in to the sadness and exhaustion that surrounded him.

Seiji breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Ryo at the edge of the lake. He glanced at Ryo and noticed his shoulders shook slightly. Then he realized Ryo was crying. As Seiji approached, Ryo looked up, tears sparkling on his cheeks. He wiped his face with his hands in a vain attempt to hide the pain that shone clearly in his eyes. Seiji paused to admire the sight of the moonlight across Ryo's face as a gentle breeze moved the leaves and the shadows danced in a delicate pattern of light and dark. He couldn't help but feel a little guilty too as he saw the lost look on Ryo's face. Seiji came closer to his friend and stood by the tree. 

"Ryo… why don't you come home?"

Ryo glared at Seiji half-heartedly. 

"Why?" he said softly. 

"Ryo, you must be cold out here alone and you really don't look so good – why don't we go inside?" Seiji added as he saw Ryo close his eyes. 

Ryo struggled against the pain in his head to find the words. 

"I'm fine, now please leave me alone." 

Seiji stood next to his friend and fought the urge to reach out and wipe the tears from his cheeks. He was so nervous, but he tried not to let it show as he looked down at his friend.

"We need to talk." 

Ryo frowned. 

"Go ahead." he said flatly – his voice thick with something Seiji had not heard in Wildfire's voice – defeat. He seemed to have given up on something he cared about very much. He didn't look at Seiji as he said the words and it was clear that he was having trouble holding back tears.

"Talk." The word came out in an angry tone that surprised Seiji a little. He wasn't sure what to say and Ryo's icy attitude wasn't making it any easier, but then again he had never made this easy for Ryo. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be. 

"I don't know how to start and I don't know how your gonna react Ryo, but please promise me you'll listen." 

Ryo looked up at Seiji hesitantly. He bit his lip as he looked into violet eyes and got lost in them like he had so many times before. He unwillingly let go of the shield he had built up around his emotions and nodded.

"I promise." He whispered, but it was all too much.

He had held it all inside for too long and he was so tired. He looked up at the moon and saw it blur in front of him as his head ached with an overwhelming pain. He tried to stand, but failed as he collapsed into Seiji's arms. 

Seiji stood there stunned for a few minutes, holding his friend close to him. He wasn't really sure what had happened. He looked down at his friend's face and saw the pain and exhaustion in his sapphire blue eyes fade away as he lapsed into unconsciousness. Seiji reached out and wiped a tear from Ryo's cheek. His hand shook a little more than he would like to admit as he moved aside a lock of raven hair and gently brushed his lips across Ryo's cheek. 

Seiji sighed and gathered Ryo in his arms. He turned to head back to the house. Luckily Ryo had not taken a straight path when he had run off that afternoon so they weren't really very far from home. Seiji shivered as he wondered what would have happened if he had not found Ryo and his heart beat quickly as he wondered what would have happened if he had been able to say what he had planned.

Ryo drifted in and out of consciousness on the way home, never really sure where he was or where he was going. He struggled to open his eyes, but was only greeted with a blurry scene of darkness and moonlight on leaves. He clung tightly to whoever was holding him, but his thoughts were not clear enough to understand what was going on. Thoughts of sadness and loneliness raced through his head as he whispered the name of the person he longed to be with. 

"Seiji…" he said softly.

He slipped deeper and deeper into a restless sleep as exhaustion took over. Seiji smiled slightly as Ryo said his name and rested his head on his shoulder. He saw the house and the warm glow of a light from the kitchen as he felt Ryo go limp in his arms. He took in a sharp breath and fought back panic as he came through the back door. The other three warriors and Nasty were sitting at the table and they rushed towards Seiji as they saw Ryo. 

"Thank goodness you found him Seiji." Nasty whispered as she took Seiji's hand in her own. 

They all walked into the living room where they laid Ryo on the couch. Shin put a damp cloth on Ryo's forehead. His hand hovered for a moment over the tears on Ryo's cheeks and his thoughts went back to the night that he had found Ryo in his room crying. He wondered if this was at all related. He brushed the memory aside and sat down.

"What happened Seiji?" Touma asked sincerely. 

Seiji felt Nasty squeeze his hand slightly and he let out a shaky breath.

"Nothing…" he said weakly. 

"I didn't get to say anything," he thought to himself.

Realizing that the others were looking at him puzzled, he continued.

"I found him near the lake and we started talking. Then, he stood to leave and the next thing I knew he had collapsed. I don't really know what happened." 

"Well, he hasn't been eating much lately." Shu said with concern. 

"And he hasn't been sleeping well either." Shin added. 

"I guess we should just let him rest." Touma said. 

"Yeah. I'll take him upstairs." 

Seiji lifted his friend slowly and headed up to Ryo's room. Ryo's eyelashes fluttered slightly as Seiji placed him on his bed and pulled the covers up to his shoulders. Ryo turned his head and said softly, "I love you Seiji."

Seiji looked up in surprise and smiled a little when he saw that Ryo was still asleep.

"Ryo…" he said softly. It was all the confirmation he needed. Now he knew for sure how Ryo felt and all he had to do was tell him the truth. 

Seiji took Ryo's hand in his own and looked down at it. His blond hair fell over both of his eyes as he bent his head. A single tear slid down his pale cheek as he squeezed Ryo's hand gently and then stood to leave. He wiped away the tear as he headed down the stairs. 

The others were waiting for him in the living room. They looked at him expectantly, but he shook his head.

"No... he's still asleep."

"Then what took you so long?" Shu questioned.

Seiji blushed a little, but no one seemed to notice as he took a seat on the couch.

"What are we going to do?" Touma asked cautiously. 

"I don't know." Shin said, still wrestling with whether or not to tell everyone about how upset Ryo had been that night. 

"How long has this been going on?" Shu asked.

"Is there anything that triggered it?" Touma said. 

"What can we do?" Nasty said looking at the others intently.

The questions filled the emptiness of the room, but they were met with no answers.

Realizing that Shin hadn't said anything and he was looking down nervously at his hands, Shu poked him and said "Hey! You know something don't you!" 

Shin squirmed a little under everyone's gaze and finally took a deep breath and said, "I think I know why Ryo's upset." 

Seiji stiffened a little and leaned closer.

"Ummm… it all started the night that Seiji went out dancing with Nasty." Shin said quickly. 

"Okay. Go on."

"Well, I was kinda upset because Nasty was…" Shin looked up at Nasty and blushed as he realized what he almost said. Then he averted his eyes and she smiled a little to herself. "Well, anyway, I went to see if Ryo wanted any dinner and he was in his room crying. I asked him what was wrong, but he wouldn't tell me. I thought he was upset about Nasty going out with Seiji." Shin laughed a little nervously. " I thought… I thought maybe he liked Nasty, but I don't think that anymore. I don't think its Nasty." 

Shin avoided looking at Seiji as Touma and Nasty nodded in agreement. 

Shu looked around puzzled. 

"What do you mean?" he said suddenly.

Shin glared at him and Touma patted him on the shoulder.

"We'll explain later." 

Shu glared at them, annoyed. "No… I know what Shin means. I'm not an idiot, but I thought Seiji liked Ryo too, so what's the problem?"

Seiji's eyes widened as the others all turned to stare at the swordsman. Touma was still shocked that Shu had been that perceptive. He had seen something that the others had obviously missed. Now they looked at Seiji expectantly and waited.

Nasty leaned closer to Seiji and whispered in his ear, "Go ahead. Tell them."

Seiji fiddled with the button at the end of his sleeve for a few seconds and then looked up at the group. 

"Its true." He said softly. "I love Ryo."

He felt a huge weight lifted off of his shoulder as he saw his friends. Shin looked up at him with wide eyes and smiled softly. Touma patted him on the back and Shu was nodding with an I-told-you-so look on his face. Nasty seemed a little too calm and the others wondered if she had already known, but the look on her eyes said nothing to reveal the answer. In fact, she was looking at Shin and he was looking at her. Shu raised his eyebrows a little and looked over at Touma who just laughed. 

"I guess no one had it all figured out." 

The room grew quiet again. 

"When are you going to tell him?" Nasty prompted.

"I… I don't know. I can't do it now. I guess I'll wait until he feels better."

"Okay. Well, hopefully, he'll wake up tomorrow and we can all conveniently disappear and give you two a little privacy." Touma said. 

"Thanks." Seiji whispered. 

"Well, I guess we should all get some rest."

"Okay, goodnight." 

"Goodnight." 

The group headed upstairs. Seiji paused at Ryo's door to stare at his sleeping friend. A slow smile spread across his face as he thought about tomorrow. He hoped that Ryo would be feeling better. If not, he was pretty sure that what he had to say would fix that. He shook his head and went off to bed. 

*********************************************************************** 

The next morning Nasty, Shin, Touma, Shu and Seiji were eating lunch when Ryo came stumbling down the stairs. He still looked exhausted and he was leaning a little too much on the banister. The others exchanged brief looks of concern as Seiji walked over to help Ryo. Ryo took Seiji's outstretched hand cautiously. 

"I don't need your help." He said half-heartedly, but it was obvious that he did.

Seiji led him to a seat, placed a plate of food in front of him and poured him something to drink. Ryo stared at the food disinterested. He was still a little confused about what had happened last night and everyone seemed to be acting funny this morning. He was having trouble staying focused and this dull ache in his head wasn't helping. He couldn't stop thinking about Seiji. Everything reminded Ryo of him. Ryo put a hand up to his eyes trying to block out the thoughts. He felt so lost. Then he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Seiji offering him a glass of water and a pill.

"Here. Take this. It will make you feel better." 

Ryo wasn't in any mood to argue so he put the pill in his mouth and quickly gulped down some water. He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.

"You have to eat, Ryo." Nasty said firmly and pushed the plate closer to him. 

He cautiously picked up the chopsticks and tasted the food. He hadn't realized how hungry he really was. When was the last time he had really eaten? He finished the plate quickly and watched as the others helped with the dishes. He was still a little out of it. He tried to help, but Touma just pushed him back in the chair and said, "Its okay Ryo, we'll take care of it." 

Ryo nodded and closed his eyes. The warm food made him sleepy and everyone was being so nice to him. He wondered if he should be worried, but instead he gave in to the weariness that enveloped him and fell asleep in the chair.

*********************************************************************** 

When he woke up, he was in the living room and Seiji was sitting in front of him. He glanced at the sky and noticed it was already dark outside. He must have been asleep for quite a while. He sat up slowly and noted that the pain in his head was almost completely gone and he felt much better - physically. He looked up at Seiji and his heart sank.

"But there is still that little problem." He thought to himself. 

He winced as the flood of emotions came back. Despair, sadness, loneliness.

Seiji reached out and brushed his hand against Ryo's cheek. A look of concern crossed his face as Ryo flinched at the touch. 

"Its okay Ryo. I'm here." 

Ryo struggled to find a response. He really just wanted to be alone, but he appreciated his friend's attempt. 

"Thanks Seiji." 

"How are you feeling?"

Ryo looked up at Seiji sincerely.

"Not too good. To be honest, I don't really remember what happened." 

Seiji leaned closer to him and whispered, "What's the last thing you remember?" 

Ryo thought for a moment. He remembered sitting by the lake and then hearing a sound and then Seiji… 

"Weren't you going to tell me something?" Ryo said hesitantly.

Confusion showed on his face. Seiji took a deep breath and searched his heart for the words that had waited there for so long. 

"Yes, Ryo. I was going to tell you something very important."

Seiji looked down at his hands and then realized he had no reason to be nervous. He had waited for this for so long. 

"I love you Ryo. I have for a long time and I'm sorry for everything I put you through and…" he paused as he realized there was no reason to go on. He had said what he wanted to say, now he just had to wait and see how Ryo would respond. 

A wave of fear spread over his heart as he looked up at Ryo. Maybe this was a mistake. Ryo lifted his head to reveal tears streaking his pale face. He seemed to be trying to say something, but he was having trouble. He took a deep breath and reached out to hug Seiji. The two warriors savored the embrace as so many emotions blended into one overwhelming feeling of belonging. 

Ryo whispered into Seiji's ear. "I love you too Seiji."

He let go of his friend and pulled away. He didn't know what to say. This was more than he had ever dreamed of. 

"I… I had no idea. Seiji…" Ryo looked up into Seiji's violet eyes. 

He felt Seiji's soft lips on his own and gave in to the kiss before he realized what was happening. It all felt so right. They embraced for several seconds in a passionate and unrestrained kiss that seemed to have caught both of them by surprise. 

*********************************************************************** 

Outside the living room window, the leaves on the ground crunched as four shadowy figures fought to see through the glass.

"Shhhhhhh! They'll hear us." Touma warned.

"No they won't guys." Nasty said smiling as she saw Ryo and Seiji were clearly focused on each other.

"What are they doing now?" Shu said trying to see what was going on.

"They're just talking." Shin said a little disappointed. 

"I don't know what's happening." Nasty said hesitantly. She hoped everything would turn out alright. 

"Oh. Now they're kissing!" Touma said trying to contain the excitement in his voice. 

"Oh good." Nasty said simply. 

"I guess everything must have worked out." Shin said smiling. 

"I'm glad." Touma said firmly. 

"Okay, now can we please go get something to eat?" Shu pleaded turning in the direction of the car, which they had parked down the street so they wouldn't be heard.

"Okay, let's go." 

_Comments: Some people have told me that they like this story, but it seems totally different from the first part. I guess they are right, but that is because I had no intentions of giving it a happy ending at first. I hope that if you use your imagination a little bit you can see Seiji's motivation and work the stories together. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!___

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